Terrible Twos - Taming Tantrums

At 19 months, Charlotte has begin to throw tantrums when she does not get things she wants or the way she wants it.

That day, she pushed all her toys onto the floor when she got fustrated while playing.

(Come to think of it, she might be tired after walking Kozer in the park but it is only around 6p.m. and we are preparing to go out for dinner)

And as usual, my 'short-fused' temper came in.

I told her off immediately and exert physical punishment (beat her on her palms). It got worse and she complaint to Ivan

(crying..."Daddy"..."Mummy"....crying - I knew she was saying "Daddy, Mummy beat me")

Ivan spent some time coaxing her... Then she fall asleep while watching Barney.

After reading, I think of sharing on the ways to tame tantrums so you will not make same mistakes like me...

1) Encourage better outlets of fustrations

Most kids at this age have difficulties in communication.
When they cannot get across what they want to you, they throw tantrums.
Help them by asking, "You look angry... Is it because you are hungry?"


2) Regular routine minimizes tantrums

(guess Charlotte was exhausted that day)
Regular meals, naps, bedtime and bath helps.


3) Carry nutritious snacks whenever you go and don't wait until behaviour gets out of hand to offer them


4) Reduce the need to say "No"

(We always says "No" to her)
Avoid setting too many rules.


5) When possible, say "Yes"
Try negotiating

E.g. "You can't skip your bath , but you can finish looking at that book before you go in".


6) Don't use "Maybe"
Toddlers will take it as a yes!


7) Don't overcontrol
This leads to rebellion.

Exert control only when absolutely necessary.


8) Provide choices when possible
It helps your toddler to feel more in control, reducing potential for tantrums.
E.g. "Do you want to wear the pink colored shirt or the white colored shirt?"

Avoided open ended questions.
E.g. "Which shirt do you want to wear?"

Make it clear that some issues are non-negotiable
E.g. wearing seat belt


9) Stick to principles when tantrum occurs

(Ivan always give in)
E.g. give in to buy that chocolate bar she wants
This will lead to setting the stage for next tantrum


10) Commend good behaviour


11) Try to be a model of calm

(Its not easy for me... But I am trying)
Parents provide excellent example for children


12) Do not use physical punishment

(Ok... I will!)


13) Don't try to reason or argue with your toddler during a tantrum

(yah... it don't help)
Out-of-control toddlers are simply beyond reason



14) Express empathy
When you toddler is carrying on something he or she can't have,

say "I know its hard when you don't get what you want.

Sometimes I get angry when I can't get what I want".


15) Try distraction


16) Ignore the tantrum


After the tanrum,

offer a praise if your child manages to end it quickly.

Don't rehash the episode or lectureyour child about it or insist for apology and don't administer punishment.